Annie read “Looking for Alaska”?? Where was she when I wanted to know when it was any good? D:I was literally like WHY DO I HAVE 5 ASKS SUDDENLY
so uhm here is that book and I want to get it nowwwwww
Today my mom wasn’t home, so my eight year old sister asked me to set some words for her so she could write her daily sentences. I knew she did them every day, but I’ve never bothered to read them before.
My sister is a lot of things. She’s extremely smart, fairly quiet, and absolutely hilarious. But today I learned two new things about her:
a) my sister does not have a way with the written word
b) my sister is addicted to crack cocaine
I don’t know what the fuck she’s smoking but I want in on it sweet baby jesus I did not know what to do with myself while I was reading some of these
what is wrong with her
I don’t even understand what some of these mean
(things you should know: I am natalie, and her “silkys” are two little silk & velveteen blankets she’s slept with since she was born.)
oh my god
“I intended for my plan to go this way”
“I am beginning to be a horse” omg
do you ever stop and realize that people probably discuss you from time to time when you arent around to witness it
not even in a specifically positive or negative way just like
people mention you, or think of you, you occur to people sometimes
thats the most unnerving thing that i can think of, thats so weird, that i exist to people when im not even interacting with them
just wanted to draw some human karkat and terezi
GOD I can’t even begin to process how great this is
Zodiac Signs and the weapons they'd use for murder, and how they'd do it.
Aries: a knife, lots of stab wounds, especially ones in the face- most likely a rage kill. After they were done stabbing you, they'd start ripping you limb from limb, even if you were already dead. That, or they'd criticize you, but it'd be so on point that you'd feel bad enough to kill yourself.
Taurus: Their bare hands, and they'd strangle you to death. They'd stare into your eyes intensely as they suffocated you to death, maybe even adding in a few dramatic "I got you in the end, you know." phrases while doing it.
Gemini: It all depends on what is convenient for them to use as a murder weapon- they're clever, so they'd figure it out quickly. Most cannibals are Geminis, so they'd probably eat you afterwards. If you really fucked them over, maybe they'd cut off your hands and watch you bleed to death, probably laughing while doing it.
Cancer: They'd take you to the beach and find a secluded area only to tie you to a boulder in the shallows of the beach and watch the tide slowly drown you and sea creatures start to pick at your helpless/crying for help corpse.
Leo: They'd make a whole sport of it- they'd find a bunch of really sadistic, fucked up people on the black market and put you in a pit filled with big cats (especially lions), you'd here "let the games begin!" and a spotlight would come on the death pit as your torn to shreds.
Virgo: They'd make it look like an accident somehow. Regardless, no one would ever find out that they did it, because they'd cover their tracks well enough.
Libra: Similar to the virgo one, but they'd definitely pretend to be distraught by what happened, and mask that they were involved really well...but in order to get you back, they'd get your family, your friends, and other people you cared about to show THEM sympathy, and to be on their side.
Scorpio: Succinolcholine injection after chloroforming the person helpless. (sp? A horse tranquilizer that is extremely hard to detect and basically make the person POWERLESS to do ANYTHING except suffocate to death. It makes all muscles go soft.) and they'd talk to you about how powerless and helpless you were until you died.
Sagittarius: beating the shit out of someone until they were literally an unrecognizable bloody mass.
Capricorn: Shooting someone in the head, mafioso style. They'd want it to be quick and clean, and they'd have organized a team to cover for them, dump the body, and probably hired virgo to hide the evidence.
Aquarius: It'd either be something really strange, whacky, and off the wall, like killing someone in the middle of a play by planning to have a stage light dropped on them, or they'd make an example of you in front of a bunch of their "followers" which they'd most likely have if they were crazy enough to kill.
Pisces: They'd capture you and play surgeon, the whole time ranting and raving about "how it feels" to feel pain as intensely as the emotional pain that they feel. They'd make sure that the kill took a long time so that they had a captive audience for a long time- another reason they'd prolongue it is they'd enjoy being the predator instead of the victim for once.
Anna.. Anna stop XD
JANEY. JANEY. THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT BROKEN BALLS AND FROG ANGELS AND HOW MEN WITH MOUSTACHES KNOW HOW TO GET SHIT DONE.
And Firefox thinks I misspelled moustaches but FUCK ALL OF THEM THEY DON’T KNOW SHIT.
By the way, I love you dear. I just wanted you to know~.
You know you’re drunk when…
you start wondering exactly what ever happened in the Triassic Garden episode of Sergent Frog.
Not because you couldn’t follow it.
But because you actually CARE what happened in an episode of Sgt. Frog.
Like it affects the storyline or something.
When the narrator regularly goes, “Could someone please tell me what’s going on.”
Yeah.
In other news: ROTTEN PEACHES FOR LIFE Y’ALL.
Annie says she misses Anna and then reblogs snakes the size of blackberries instead of texting her.
Annnnnnniiiiiiiiie!
YOU could text ME, you know!
Yeah buttttttttt. /pouts
i want to buy these and dye the red parts for meenah pants, but i’m really alarmed that they’re called “bondage pants”
They were always called that when I was in high school. I guess that’s why it doesn’t alarm me. Haha. But one year our principal flipped his shit and banned the chains soooooo… Not so bondage-y then. XD
